theo|digital

This is the 7th night of the saga of the “why I am not actually crazy” story.

Prior to the current system of counting (nights), we were counting weeks. Three weeks, actually, of waking up in starts… having that feeling that someone is in your room.

Sometimes it was twice in one night. I’d wake up – sure it was shuffling I was hearing – roll over in sudden action and slam the light switch from my bed in order to see: nothing. Nobody in my room.

At one point, I was sure there were noises coming from my own bed, and I thought I felt someone touch my hair.

I’d never been crazy before. So this is how it is?

Until seven days ago. When I found the bag and saran wrap surrounding the chocolate chip cookie I had left on my desk being not so protective. There were round, torn holes in both, and mostly just crumbs where the cookie was supposed to be.

And that night, I saw it. As I slammed on the lights at 3:15am, his little white nose was just disappearing into a whole in the bricks near the ceiling. Minor freaking out. But mostly relief that it turns out my hallucinations weren’t the best evidence of my mental instability (not that I don’t have unrelated concerns).

Turns out Menards sells mouse traps. I bought four, at $0.78 for two. A lesson on springs and a little peanut butter later we were business. I’d love to be compassionate, but this little sucker ran through my hair. Justice demands death (also damages for pain and suffering).

But one would recall that we’re on our 7th day. Turns out the peanut butter is quite attractive to young white mice trying to have a nightlife in my basement. No problem there. But I’m a mouse-catching novice, and didn’t set my traps tightly enough. The next morning, all four traps were still set in pristine fashion, peanut butter licked cleaned.

2nd try: much more sensitively set traps.
- that night: awakened to BANG! Sprung trap, but no mouse the next morning. And yes, no peanut butter.

3rd try: re-set traps. less bait so mouse has to work harder.
- nope.

4th try: no bait. traps set along walls in optimal running areas.
- no.

5th try: added “milk jug trap” with peanut butter near the bottom (conceived by Monte). Mouse goes in, can’t climb out, right?
- awaken to claws-on-plastic-in-jug sound. excited. not for long. mouse escapes.

6th try: tonight I’m sitting in my bedroom at 1.14am, and I can hear the mouse running around in the adjacent dark. Seriously. Meanwhile, I’m re-baiting the traps with something new: dental floss. Some mouse-catching websites (yeah) advise tying floss as something that looks like it could contribute to a mouse nest. Traps are now reset with floss tied to them and a *tiny* amount of peanut butter on the floss.

1.20am – BANG, a trap has already sprung!! I walk around the corner and find my new baited traps still sitting ready. The trap that sprung is an old trap that I didn’t re-bait, but it’s in the mouse’s favorite hole. He’s toying with me. No mouse.

And now here we are.

Anger. Determination. Little shivers down my spine.

if they find me, remember me as a lover, not a fighter.