theo|digital

I didn’t expect the amount of reaction I received a few days ago when I updated my Facebook status to “Chris is poaching eggs in the microwave.” Laying aside the shame I feel for updating my Facebook status in the first place (what? what window? I don’t have Facebook open. “Face-book?” oh, you meant GOOGLE SPREADSHEETS. Right. Look over there.), I’d like to make the serious point that poaching eggs in the microwave is not only a lovely modern possibility, it’s also fun and safe to do at home.

Instructions:

1. Find your personal microwave poacher dish. A coffee mug with rounded bottom works great. Yesterday I used a glass 1-cup liquid-measuring cup.
2. Spray bottom of cup with non-stick spray.
3. Break egg into dish (obviously be careful not to break the yoke!)
4. Gently puncture the egg yolk with a toothpick. (just a small “hole” – no breaky – just quick in and out. Seriously. This is important to prevent unwanted yellow explosion).
5. Cover the top of your cup with saran wrap – pull tightly so it forms a seal. (will trap steam inside).
6. Pop in microwave.



7. Zap it. Technique is very important here. It must be done in small increments, and takes very little overall time to cook the egg through. I recommend something like this:
1. 12 second zap.
2. 10 seconds cool-down.
3. 10 seconds zap.
4. 10 seconds cool down.
5. 8 seconds zap.
6. 10 seconds cool down.



7. Visual egg examination. Does it look done? (remember, overdoing gives you hard yoke. Not as nice.)
8. And you’re done. The rounded bottom of the cup helps you simply tip the cup and slide the egg out onto your already prepared english muffin, with American cheese and canadian bacon. Instant Egg McMuffin!

I will be accepting apologies from those who scoffed.