how the internet enables intimacy | TED

Chris Ridgeway | 19 Feb 2010 | 15:01

A few months ago I noted this TED talk by anthropologist Stefana Broadbent (dated Nov 2009, but given July 2009), but my friend Ty recently reminded me to watch it again:

Broadbent has interesting points and shares my optimistic, curious view. Some of her (loose) key quotes and my comments:

Fundamentally, people are communicating on a regular basis with five, six, or seven of their most intimate sphere. Research shows people have an average of 120 friends on Facebook, but communicate with four to six regularly. 80% of cell phone calls are made to 4 people. When you go to Skype it drops to 2 people.

Question: does this change dramatically for younger generation? An average friend count of 120 seems really low in my experience. 450 seems more like it. Does this increase the intimate circle or does it remain the same?
Theological sidenote: Jesus had the masses, hundreds, the twelve, and the three.

“Some sociologists actually are quite disappointed. … all this deployment just for 5 people? Some feel it’s a closure, it’s a cocooning, that we’re disengaging from the public. And I would actually like to show you that if you look at who is doing it and from where they’re doing it—actually there is an incredible social transformation.”

Examples:
- Guy at factory who sneaks away to text his girlfriend good night.
- Brazilian couple who eats dinner with their parents every couple weeks by placing the laptop on the table.
- Best friends who install IM on work computers so they can be together during the day despite working at different places.

The cultural norm has changed, and not only in new technologies. Phones have been here for much longer. But the expectation of connection on phone has increased… of being connected throughout the day.

Question: doesn’t this reinforce our way of thinking church as “doing life together?” Small groups not as once-a-week bible studies but as soccer games and leftovers and crying and daily rhythms?

Some institutions have tried to block this. $15 fines for some kids in Texas schools who are seen with their phone out. There are arguments of security and safety… which in fact have always been the argument for social control. The question is: do we have the right to self-determine our attention? Do decide whether we should be isolate?

Exactly. These “blockages” have always been short-sighted, and, in the long-run, ineffective. Institutions need to learn how to flow with the social trend, not swim upstream.

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2 Responses to “how the internet enables intimacy | TED”

  1. John says:
    21 Feb 2010 at 12:50

    “doesn’t this reinforce our way of thinking church as “doing life together?””

    indeed it does. i think we’re in the infant stage of the most profound social transformation in human history. our concepts of religion will be, and are now being, turned upside down by new connective technologies.

    hope to see you @ theology after google.

  2. Adam says:
    27 Feb 2010 at 21:42

    I’m testing out this example:

    What about a parent who watches their child’s first steps over skype, or on a video their spouse recorded? Is that as meaningful as being there? If not, is it a worthwhile substitute? Does it approximate the experience enough to be valuable?

    Is this a fair parallel to the life/purpose of the church as a community, a body, a family?

    I’m interested to hear your thoughts as someone with versed in media ecology who is a proponent of these sorts of developments.