theo|digital

Wow, has this been a trip. 15 days of final drafts, stuffing bags and sorting camping gear, reading reports, downloading audio books, filing paperwork, hurried goodbyes, hands on the steering wheel, catching up with old friends, fast food, endless Interstate, fast food, endless Interstate, fast food, making lists, shaking hands, phone calls, human resources department, project groups, troubleshooting, prayer hours, schedules, orientations, low-ropes courses, arms full, late meetings, raincoats, new people, new people, new people, cabins, Elk, photocopies, Safeway, tourists, Elk, staff cafeteria, losing my Nalgene, finding my Nalgene, coffee filters, quick decisions, new people…

and finally a Day Off.

Today I’m taking a Sabbath that’s been long in coming. And although there are still a few big early things to complete for LT, it seems like we’ve done the first few hurdles, and things are coming together. Which allows me to let my shoulders sink a little, and disconnect the to-do list from my head.

One of my personal fun tasks this summer hopefully is redesigning this blog and maybe even porting it to a new service (WordPress anyone?). We’ll see if this happens.

I will post a few things on LT, and hopefully a number of continues posts on theology and media ecology, since I plan to continue my thesis reading and writing (at a much slower pace, but enough to keep the brain warm for the Fall).

More soon.

The summer is beginning to threaten its end, and I think my heart has found a way to mourn without telling me about it. That I wouldn’t notice until the sadness comes… that’s not unusual for me, I think. Today I walked through the dirt past Laundry and stared up at Mt. Ypsilon, thick and permanent on this backdrop. I’ll miss it when I leave.

My heart has been with my students here. Most are tired now, full with a summer that for them has been cleaning, conflict, mornings, trust, patience. Many probably had hoped for greater revelation or stronger hope. Only a few already see that what they got in patient endurance was worth the labor, God himself living in the toughest moments.


John Drage says that he’s still not sure how LT works. The economist in me agrees. The entire idea is that we “set the conditions for growth.” We couldn’t compel it to happen.

And so it’s true that a few of my student will walk away from the summer feeling no change. Wondering why they came out, frustrated there was only an empty promise of spiritual growth: certain that the eleven speakers were a disappointment, their project groups weren’t organized, their dorms noisy, and their bank accounts smaller than they had imagined. The saddest part isn’t for me that they didn’t like what we set, but that they never understood it in the first place.

I can only hope that Mt. Ypsilon draws them out here again, maybe a second chance at finding God in mountains.

The YMCA feels a lot like a small town, and Fourth of July carries holiday excitement that anonymous communities don’t seem to have.  Who dresses up for the 4th?  Everyone.  Plus the winners of the parade contest will dog the other departments for at least a week.  Here are my photos of our morning parade under the visage of Long’s Peak, featuring LT students in almost every department.

Hiking trip to Bridal Veil Falls. My friend Shalom took most of the photos, but she let me snap a few too.

One week since we arrived in Colorado (granted, our midnight arrival was probably technically Tuesday).

I’ve never seen it so rainy here, so dark. The surrounding landscape is hidden completely. Even Eagle Cliff has a cloud like a sheet partially draped over its top. And I’m trapped in it, the dampness in my lungs un-comforting to the dryness in my throat, and the aches elsewhere. I’m definitely sick. I spent the morning in my room before venturing to the Pondo for an early lunch (they had egg drop soup, but it had left-over peas in it from the night before) and then back home again exhausted from an hour out. I was able to get some e-mail done, but then let the sleep take me for two hours before five.

And now I’m feeling like I often feel when I’m on sick day: lazy. Like I should have gotten more done. Frustrated and guilty that daylight is almost ready to drop away, but my task list isn’t shorter.

I can convince myself that that this was an opportune time to have to take a break. And it was—I finally completed my full project leaders and coaches orientation late last night, and many of my initial major tasks for launching things seem to be complete. But to work in this kind of self-talk is to miss the point; staying within the confines of the assumption that if I am productive, I am valuable.