theo|digital

I didn’t expect the amount of reaction I received a few days ago when I updated my Facebook status to “Chris is poaching eggs in the microwave.” Laying aside the shame I feel for updating my Facebook status in the first place (what? what window? I don’t have Facebook open. “Face-book?” oh, you meant GOOGLE SPREADSHEETS. Right. Look over there.), I’d like to make the serious point that poaching eggs in the microwave is not only a lovely modern possibility, it’s also fun and safe to do at home.

Instructions:

1. Find your personal microwave poacher dish. A coffee mug with rounded bottom works great. Yesterday I used a glass 1-cup liquid-measuring cup.
2. Spray bottom of cup with non-stick spray.
3. Break egg into dish (obviously be careful not to break the yoke!)
4. Gently puncture the egg yolk with a toothpick. (just a small “hole” – no breaky – just quick in and out. Seriously. This is important to prevent unwanted yellow explosion).
5. Cover the top of your cup with saran wrap – pull tightly so it forms a seal. (will trap steam inside).
6. Pop in microwave.



7. Zap it. Technique is very important here. It must be done in small increments, and takes very little overall time to cook the egg through. I recommend something like this:
1. 12 second zap.
2. 10 seconds cool-down.
3. 10 seconds zap.
4. 10 seconds cool down.
5. 8 seconds zap.
6. 10 seconds cool down.



7. Visual egg examination. Does it look done? (remember, overdoing gives you hard yoke. Not as nice.)
8. And you’re done. The rounded bottom of the cup helps you simply tip the cup and slide the egg out onto your already prepared english muffin, with American cheese and canadian bacon. Instant Egg McMuffin!

I will be accepting apologies from those who scoffed.

I love to cook, but don’t talk about it much. Given the super-snow-world that we’re living in right now, here’s how I made a big pot of wonderfulness for dinner two nights ago:

• 1lb spicy pork sausage (usually buy ground in a roll – near jimmy dean)
• 1 gallon water
• 2 1/2 lbs. potatoes, cut into 1/2-inch cubes
• 1 T. chicken stock base
• 1 T. each: white pepper, salt, black pepper
• 2 11-oz. cans concentrated cheddar cheese soup
• 1 lb. butter or margarine (4 sticks)
• 1 1/2 c. flour
• 2 c. half-and-half
• chives, bacon bits and parsley

Bring water to a boil in the big soup pot. Add cut potatoes to water along with the spices – bullion, salt and pepper (lots of pepper). Cook 12 minutes, or until potatoes are about half-done (chris tip: skins are just starting to loosen/pull away) Add cheddar cheese soup and simmer 10 more minutes.

Separately, brown 1lb of spicy pork sausage.

Also separately, you make a huge roux (chris tip: say “rue.” melt butter or margarine in a heavy sauce pan. Add flour slowly and cook over medium heat, stirring constantly (really), for 3 to 4 minutes. It makes a paste you call a roux.) Don’t cook it too long, it’ll start to brown too much.

Whisk the rue (flour/butter paste stuff) into the potato mixture (this thickens it all up) and bring to a boil.

Add browned sausage.

Reduce heat and simmer an additional 3 to 4 minutes. Stir in half-and-half (important this never boils…) and heat to serving temperature. Maybe serve with chives, shredded sharp cheddar, and parsley – and definitely a hot bread/biscuit/roll.

oh yum.
(ps – this is horrible for you)
(pps – I don’t measure hardly anything – the numbers are sorta fake for me)
(ppps – stole this from my friend Alison and modified it)

As promised. One of my favorite late night snacks I learned from Jesse Hart, one of my old roommates. He used to call it just “migas” – which I think just means eggs.

Take oil and butter and melt them in a saute pan. Tear two soft flour tortillas into small pieces and stir them in the hot oil until crispy. Stir in a light amount of salsa, and some whipped eggs (with added red and black pepper).

nice.