theo|digital

Well, I’ve been back in Chicago a full week now, and it feels like about 24 hours. Rapid change does that—seems to numb our sense of the passage of time.

To honor that, I will now spit out a paragraph straight from the Top Ten List Of What Generally Not To Do On A Blog. This is mostly cathartic purging, so feel free to duck and cover.

The week has been: Sunday night: arrive and crash. Monday: realize I’m in Chicago. Hang out with Tim and Em and Ty and Laura. Tuesday: Mourn not being in Colorado cause everything feels sticky. Turns out to be “humidity.” Have 3 hours lunch with Mark G. at Swedish bistro and catch up. Try to register for final class I need, a directed study with McKnight. Wonder where my bed sheets are. Wednesday: academic nightmare where my advisor changes, my directed study doesn’t go through, and I try to re-figure out my academic plan. In the evening, run to Jewel in city traffic to pick up extra chips for the welcome-back community cookout. Smile a lot. Thursday: welcome-back breakfast with seminary people. Still try to figure out my academic plan. Worry a lot. See my friend Dan visiting from Colorado. More academic worrying. Get appropriate new paperwork turned in, and head to suburbs for See The Family time. Friday: Naperville with grandparents and Aunt’s birthday, etc. Saturday: back in time to help with Seminary Retreat which actually isn’t a Retreat but is still a somewhat enjoyable worship time plus meet new people plus eat a huge lunch event. Saturday evening: actually stop living out of the suitcase and start moving into new bedroom. Take break to watch Arrested Development with Ty and Laura. Sunday: pretend I don’t have a Sabbath schedule yet and move into new bedroom more. Can now see part of floor. Celebrate found bed sheets. Attend Seminary Convocation involving The Organ and the Organist (plus awkward reading the names of new students that aren’t actually in attendance). Hors d’oeuvres. More new students. Take break staring at wall. Share beer with new friends. Monday: wake up in stunning realization that the first day of class is here, and you’re still not sure where you are. Attend Old Testament II (parallel structure), seminary chapel, seminary announcements, Starbucks, set up information fair, participate in information fair, catch up with seminary friends, turn in forgotten directed study paperwork from the summer, and sit down to recall that you haven’t updated your blog in over a week.

And done. (my apologies)

I’ve had to answer this question an I’ve-lost-count number of times – to both friends and acquaintances alike. I’ve found it tough to answer, because there are many reasons, and some of them aren’t the same people assume. Here’s part 2.

Why am I in [seminary/theology grad school/divinity school]?

2. To learn about the wider Christian thought through history.

As much as I’d like to think that I’m a fountain of original thought regarding living in the new community, it’s rather more likely that someone not only has had “that thought” before me, but has thought it with a bit more class. A great deal more class. And so, if for no other reason than not to look silly, it makes sense for me to take a couple years marinated in the great Christian thinkers and leaders in the 2000 year history of the church.

And while much of the writings of church thinkers would be available for my personal consumption outside of formal schooling, there’s something to having a guide – a professor whose job may be less to give you information than to prioritize it for you.

There’s Ancient… Irenaeus, Clement, Augustine Very Old… Thomas Aquinas, Martin Luther, John Calvin Last Century… Kierkegaard, Karl Barth, Paul Tillich… actually… I’m starting to list names I’ve heard and thought about just in the last eight weeks… and this list could go on for a long time. Perhaps a hall of church history would help. Our maybe a tour through the table of contents of Jose Gonzales; History of Christian Thought v1, v2, and v3.

Absorbing the past is particularly relevant to emerging church thought. Brian McLaren’s last two books – The Secret Message of Jesus and Everything Must Change – may be good (I dunno yet – haven’t got the chance to read them yet). But the titles both imply an idea that somewhere inside lies the undiscovered key to a new Christianity that we haven’t thought of yet.

The chances of that seem slim.

(Not that I don’t think the American church some major overhaul work (perhaps as much paradigm shift as was required during the Protestant Reformation). But that’ll have to fit in as my next reason for being in [seminary]).

Listened this morning to two guest lectures by Dr. David L. Tiede, NT scholar and president emeritus of Luther Seminary. He spent a great part of the time answering audience questions(all from North Park faculty – I was too cowed to ask a question), like when I snapped this shot on my Treo. I particularly liked his thoughts on seminaries originally coming from “the abbey” moving to “the academy” but now needing to be “apostolates.”

I’ve had to answer this question an I’ve-lost-count number of times – from old friends, GCM partners, new friends, professors – those know much about me and those who are meeting me for the first time. I’ve found it tough to answer, because there are so MANY answers. So I think I’ll start slipping them in here, one at a time. Could be ten or more.

Why am I in [seminary/theology grad school/divinity school]?

1. Not to “become a pastor.”
Maybe it’s weird to start with a negative, but this an important first thought. For my GCM friends, we know that we don’t tend to think of pastors as professionals like doctors or lawyers, each with their professional degrees. And we don’t believe a degree can make a pastor.

I still agree with this. I still think that in Paul’s 15 descriptions (in 1 Tim 3) on what an elder should be like, only one involves learning of the book-type: “able to teach.” Others (self-controlled, hospitable, more…) are descriptions of character, and this is grown through spiritual formation: being quick to listen, gaining experience in failure, and cultivating humility.

This is part of the reason why it feels weird to use the word “seminary” as opposed to “study theology” or “grad school” – the first reminds me of that professional model that in some contexts worries me.

ps – Most of my fellows students do see this as pastor training – and I recognize this is the majority view of the current American church – and it’d be foolish for me to say that God hasn’t blessed that. I take my perspective humbly and cautiously. Still can’t shake the feeling that people need more experience than this to be a pastor, but kudos to North Park for heavy emphasis on spiritual formation and internship experiences.

I already posted about my new roommate Mark, but haven’t yet mentioned Luke T. Johnson. He’s the other roommate. We’re currently studying in the library after we both stumbled away from our morning classes still sorta dreary. Luke likes ultimate frisbee like I like coffee, so he was out late (read: 1am) playing.

Luke just returned from four years as a youth pastor in Oregon. But he knows campus really well: he did his undergrad degree in youth ministry here. Oh, right, and started the men’s ultimate frisbee team.

And I think he’s currently posting (via his iPhone) on his blog about the Trinity. Mostly because I was reading about it in my textbook then of course had to complain about what was reading (is the Arian heresy REALLY that heretical?).

Anyway, meet Luke.

I got up this morning at 9:13am. After waking up twice at 7:30am and 8:35am. No alarm set. The plan was to sleep in, and it felt like I slept ’till like noon. But, yeah, I didn’t. It’s so funny being an “early” person for the first time in a long time…

Part of what I want to track here (for my own emotional health) is what this feels like to leave so many years of campus ministry position and jump into a seminary. Perhaps a lot of my transitional stresses would be universal to the new friends I’m making here – those of us who are all starting this year and coming from elsewhere. But I’m sure there’s plenty of surprises that are unique to each of us.

There are so many simultaneous shifts happening that I I can hardly categorize them: Theological. Relational. Grocery-store related.

I’m not used to:
…sleeping in a single bed (although it really hasn’t been bad).

…saying “thanks be to God” after scripture readings (seminary chapel).

…the walk to class taking only four minutes (and I thought I was “on campus” in Champaign!)

…regularly hearing about “the call process” as referencing either a) how someone decided to enroll in a degree program or b) the hiring process for being a pastor at a church.

…pastors being hired.

…being assigned the reading instead of doing it myself.

…not having a coffee shop home (still working on it. Only starbucks is a close-by walk).

…being able to play with my roommate’s iPhone (my old roommates just talked about getting them).

…not having a chinese restaurant home (see “coffee shop”).

…formal academic theological Journals (surprise! The “J” section is the largest).

…hearing Swedish.

…feeling like I know less than everyone else (two people I’ve been hanging around have undergraduate degrees in Bible. I haven’t even had the intro courses).

…nobody stopping me on campus asking if we can get together and talk.

…hearing “Covenant College” and it referring to somewhere in Canada, not Tennessee (Covenant Evangelical Church, not Presbyterian Church in America)

…people not being able to understand me when I talk fast and mumble (I miss the Champaign friends who could interpret so easily).

…milk costing a $3.75 a gallon

…sermons instead of stories.

…paper handouts instead of digital (it’s sorta unreal. digital files exist around here but, let’s just say… Gmail Paper would probably get an enthusiastic reception here).

..the NRSV.

that’s good for a start…

ps – 2nd shot is a photo of my flat. I’m on the 3rd floor.

…is one of my new roommates here. And it’s his birthday today. Happy Birthday Mark. You can check out his blog or his flickr.

I’m surrounded by corrugated cardboard (which incidentally, although invented around the turn of the century, was made popular in part by Herman Krannert, the businessman who’s money financed Illinois’ Krannert Center for the Performing Arts, Krannert Art Museum, and the Krannert School of Management at Purdue). It smells like cardboard always does… and the the sound the tape really confirms that I’m moving.

Less emotions today and yesterday, although the sadness was at it’s peak near the beginning of the week. But these days it’s business-busy mode to get stuff done.

Tonight’s my last night in the DawgHaus.

Not that I’ve ever been the most focused person (what’s that on the floor? Sweet – I’ll work on that… wait, what’s this on my computer?). But I’ve decided to change the focus of my blog.

I want to try to write in detail about my transition to seminary studies, and how my many unanswered life-goal questions are addressed as I move day-to-day into grad school.

I really could have started this kind of journal a year ago, as I decided to stop dabbling and make a formal investigation into further studies. I googled lots and lots. I read more seminary and grad school web pages than I can remember. I ranked, discussed, asked, attended, re-ranked, decided, re-decided… it was a tough process.

During the process, I found few truly helpful resources on the web. Really. No good seminary rankings. Very few personal stories that weren’t sanitized by theology admissions offices. So maybe, if I spend this next few months writing in detail, I can help someone else who is at the same place I was a year ago.

Because I’m such a generalist, I’ll still be interested in lots of other things in pop culture, music, politics, spiritual formation, etc. And I’ll keep my old archives up here. But here’s to a new focus.